In case you didn’t know...
A few years ago, I was blessed with more stabilized health and was able to attend college again (remotely), this time with a focus on Biblical Studies. In the doing, I’ve also had to spend a good deal of time refreshing myself on some subjects I’ve not spent much time reviewing since the late 1980s—two being general and grief psychology.
This month, December, in psyche review, I’ve landed in the topic of forgiveness.
As always, God’s timing is perfect.
Next, I’m not referring to anyone specifically, but many, manyyyyyy folks won’t even attempt to taste a bit of forgiveness pie. Others accept it but struggle with the chewing and swallowing. As my southern family says, “Sometimes, it be like that.”
It’s kinda like kids and castor oil...
Image via ASPhillips
Some give up but others just do it, and begin to immediately reap the benefits of it.
Once more...
In the research that prompted this post, I was yet again awed at modern science proving Biblical teaching to be accurate, especially in regards to mental health.
Since this is the season millions celebrate the birth of Yeshua the Messiah, it provides an opportunity to maybe help some folks struggling with emotional challenges. Of those, many are sometimes a side-effect of unforgiveness.
I wanted to do my best to help anyone suffering from symptoms related to unforgiveness—that joy-robbing, spirit-dampening, soul-stealing toxin that some folks just don’t realize may be the very thing that’s causing life to feel foul.
Yup... It really is all that bad of a thing to be harboring, let alone nourishing.
Y’all know I’m not a fan of producing long posts, so, I’m gonna try and fit the info into a teaspoon-sized dose that will hopefully be an easy read that may be just the medicine you or someone you know is in need of.
Here we go...
Core Principles
☙ Conscious Choice: Deliberately releasing negative feelings.
☙ Internal Processing: Deliberately changing your own internal (emotional) response to
a hurtful action by another, and not allowing that response to depend on them.
☙ Not Condoning: Forgiving because you choose to without condoning the actions of the offender.
☙ Emotional Release: Deliberate transitioning from feelings of hate and hurt to forgiveness and healing.
Stages and Components (Enright Model and more)
☙ Uncovering: Acknowledging the depths of the hurt and the anger and pain it caused.
☙ Deciding to Forgive: Committing to the process of making the deliberate choice to let go.
☙ Working Through: Making a conscious choice to release and let go of unforgiveness.
☙ Deepening: (I’m not always in agreement with all aspects of this one, but including it to be reflective of the model) Allowing and cultivating empathy for the offender. Transitioning the focus from the event’s effects to renewed hope and personal growth.
Psychological & Neurological Benefits
☙ Stress reduction: Decreases anxiety, depression, anger, and rumination.
☙ Improved physical health: Forgiveness is linked to more stable, healthy blood
pressure and immune function.
☙ Relationship enhancement: Promotes, empathy, compassion and connection with others.
Important Distinctions
☙ Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation: Forgiveness is a person’s choice. Reconciliation is dependent on mutual efforts and restored trust.
☙ Forgiveness vs. Forgetting: One might not forget the event but one can alter how they relate to it.
The last one I’m abstaining from including here because I believe it to be erroneous and in direct conflict with the teachings of Yeshua, the most horribly injured (physically and emotionally) innocent man ever to have been assassinated. Yet, in His last moments of agony, and His few last breaths said, from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they have not known what they do.” Young’s Literal Translation.
Yeshua said...
9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
Whatever belief system anyone has ever adopted, or what good standards they work to live by, it was Him who set the ultimate standard of rightness (righteousness). It’s Him who helps me forgive, as I should. And that’s a wonderful privilege because if there’s anyone who should be willing to forgive, it’s definitely me. I’ve been one of the most undeserving recipients of forgiveness more times than I’ll ever be able to remember.
If you can identify, feel free to leave an “Amen!” in the comments. Hopefully, that's not many of you.
The Wrap!
This hasn’t been a post about religion. As my little brother says, “It’s all about relationship. Religion never saved anybody.” Pastor Paul K. Cooper II, Missionary to Brazil.
No matter what religion you are or aren’t, forgiveness maintains as being a recognized organic and exceptional, ancient medicine. It may make you squint and pucker, but it’ll bless us if we just do it.
Hoping you're enjoying this season of reflection, love and definitely forgiveness.
Shalom, shalom
Angelia
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